Shitty Eyesight (7.16.18)

I wish I had more of an explanation for this one, but I don't. To my fellow adoptees.

Shitty Eyesight

Charlie K.

7.16.18

It’s easy to think you know what’s going on

I’ll sit close to you and admit I don’t

I know what it’s like to feel sad

I spent my Saturday night in the psych ward of the hospital

Was locked in a room

With all-rounded edges.

I feel scared to say how I feel

And what I think because

No matter what you have

Someone always has it worse.

I know what it feels like to

Not know your place

I get tan in the summer

Pale and sickly in winter

I don’t look like I’m

“From” anywhere

Call myself white

Doesn’t feel quite right

Yet neither does P.O.C.

Like they’re not mine to claim

Hell

I can’t even pick my

Own damn gender

Right now it’s trans masc

He/him/his

But then my body screams

She/her/hers

So the in-between

Is compromise

In my medical records

They want family history

But they list it

Under “problems list”

So my records say

“Problems list:

Adopted.”

No I don’t have

Great-grandma Ellen’s nose

No

I don’t have

Dad’s bad eyes

I have my own shitty eyesight,

Thank you very much.